Comments on: I'm Just A Girl Who C'aint Say No?

By: PeterK

PeterK — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 00:27:34 +0000

Great post Sara! Coincidentally, today’s RW Quote of the Day applies quite nicely here:

“Our sport becomes not just what we do but an integral symbol — on all levels — of who we are” ~Gloria Averbuch

By: Kate_TW

Kate_TW — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:37:04 +0000

I’ve been going through the same thing with dancing. I always saw myself as a non dancer. I would never dance in public except for a handful of times with some liquid courage. When I finally admitted to myself that I loved to dance and started taking classes, I told myself I wouldn’t expect to be any good at it for years. After dancing a solo in a small performance, my dancer friends told me that I was no longer allowed to say that I am not a dancer. I still find it mind boggling. Thanks for this reminder.

By: Vern

Vern — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 22:36:04 +0000

For me, one of the transformative powers of running has been the almost complete elimination of “limiting beliefs.” It grates on a nerve to hear the word “can’t,” especially when it comes out of my own mouth. I really hate the c-word and try not to use it.

As long as one keeps expectations reasonable, and performs within the context of those expectations, there’s no reason to let those negative thoughts creep in. I’m not a fast runner either, but just getting hooked on running in my 50′s, I don’t expect to be. I expect to get a little quicker with further training, but I’m not really worried about it. Speed is so relative. Whatever your pace, you will look at faster runners and admire their speed. And they don’t think they are fast; they are comparing against runners faster than them. No runner thinks “Wow, I’m really fast!” Runners are an inclusive lot. They don’t think less of runners that are a little slower. They just admire them for getting out there!

One of the beauties of running is that it is so intensely personal. So don’t let others define you. Define yourself!

By: saragracer

saragracer — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 19:46:24 +0000

I’m dealing with the slow problem too, Elodie. I’m too soft on myself because I think I’m not meant to be faster.

Sharon, wow, thank you for sharing that. I have been there! Yes, running will change you! But a friend once gave me some good advice: Be patient with who you are *now* too. Try to let the self-judgment slip away. It will help you make the transition. BTW, are you on DM? It might be awesome to find someone where you live at your level to run with.

By: SharonM

SharonM — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 19:39:45 +0000

Our stories begin similarly, though I haven’t made the change you have. I still believe that I’m unathletic, awkward and slow. Although I’ve finally realized how much I love to be active, I still prefer to do my sports alone. Cycling, hiking, running. No one around to judge me. I prefer to backpack alone or with my husband because I can’t stand the thought that I might slow others down. I don’t look at other runners I cross paths with because I’m afraid they wonder what on earth I think I’m doing pretending to run. Whew! That’s a lot off my chest! So if getting better at running could change that, I’d be quite please.

By: elodiekaye

elodiekaye — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 19:39:25 +0000

That I’m slow. This is a particularly tricky one because I run 90% of my miles at 10:30 mpm or more. That really .is. slow by any definition. But when I race, I regularly come in the top 30% of women, and faster than half the men. I’ve occasionally done even better than that, and I’m always left feeling slightly disoriented about what to think.

What could be more rational than to define your identity in terms of what you do most of the time, or what you’ve done in the past? Yet, running teaches you that reason isn’t as firm as you thought. Elephants can fly.