Remembering Bruce: PBR, Cancer & Trust

Written by: Amy
23 Feb 2011
Dedication Run, Hashery, Life Purpose, Personal Stuff

Amy’s Runs: Monday, 3m treadmill run; Tuesday, 3m run with Bridget; Wednesday, 2m pool run; Thursday, 3m treadmill run; Friday, rest; Saturday, 5.5m run with Bridget; Sunday, 11m run with Bridget and Colleen; Monday, rest; Tuesday, Remembering Bruce, 4.5m run with Jenna

I knew Bruce less than 6 months.  I met him August 23, 2005.  He died February 22, 2006.  I’ve never done the math on that before.  The friendship and trust we develop in such a sort time seems surreal to me now.  I don’t know his favorite color (might have been blue) or movie (we only watched 1 together, “Patch Adams”).  I don’t even know what type of music he liked.  We gardened, cooked, did yard work, organized his closets, drank PBR and picked apples.  But, I was there for him as he died.

His family asked me to speak at his funeral, and this is what I said:

About once or twice a week after we met, we worked in his yard moving dirt and sand from one pile to another, positioning and repositioning blueberry bushes never to find the perfect spot.  Bruce liked things done his way and I became very good at following directions.

Sometimes I tried to anticipate what he’d need – sometimes I was right and sometimes I’m sure he wished I hadn’t tried to “help” at all. Nevertheless he’d smile, give a “Yahoo!” to recognize my effort, and tell me how to do it right. I’d reciprocate the smile and comply with the new direction.

As Bruce became less able to do the little things around the house, so many chipped in to do whatever was needed. It was much easier for me to see what needed to be done around the house than it was for me to know what to do with this garden nutrient and that pile of compost. Doing the dishes comes naturally, using a Roto-tiller doesn’t.

It was an honor to spend as much time as I did with Bruce. Often I remember thinking that I didn’t belong, because I had just met Bruce & who was I anyway? Your warm smiles and hearty welcomes & Bruce’s delicate hugs reassured me every time that I had a place not only in Bruce’s home, but also in his heart.

Running brought Bruce and I together more than 5 years ago, and running is still introducing me to great people wherever I go.  I was able to share this run (and a cold PRB at Solly’s) with a new friend, Jenna.  You never know what 6 months will do to develop a friendship, and you never know the impact you truly have on someone’s life.

Bruce, I still smile thinking about those blueberry bushes and about climbing in an apple tree to get just one more bushel.  The blueberry bushes were never planted and we threw away the rotten apples after you died.  You invited me to be a part of the last part of your life & your death, but I will always wonder about the jet-setting, bike-riding, suit-wearing, trail-climbing, beer-guzzling Bruce I didn’t get a chance to meet.

Jenna, Thanks for running with me & asking about Bruce.  It was nice to talk about him, but focus on our shared interests and insights on life to develop our friendship.  It’s what Bruce would have wanted.

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1,000 miles does not equal 1,000 blog posts

Written by: Amy
16 Feb 2011
Dedication Run, Hashery, Inspiration, Life Purpose, Personal Stuff, Yoga

Amy’s Runs: Tuesday, 3m treadmill run; Wednesday, 90 minutes of hot yoga with Molly, Bridget and Megan; Thursday, 3m treadmill run; Friday, rest; Saturday, 7m run with Bridget through Georgetown, Rock Creek Park Trail, down the Mall to the Capitol; Sunday, 3m run on the Mall and Dupont with Bridget and 90 minutes of hot yoga. (Hot Yoga was at Bikram Yoga Dupont)

My year of a thousand miles will not equal a year of one thousand blog entries (many of you on my Facebook feed will appreciate that fact!).  At the yoga studio last week, someone said, “It’s so nice it’s not January, the classes aren’t as crowded.”  The opposite is true on the streets in DC.  The warmer temperatures and tour buses have people out exploring this great city.

I am proud to be one who hears the crunch of the gravel beneath my feet on the Mall, smells the fried doughnuts outside of Crispy Cream, listens to the music playing on the outdoor patios in Georgetown and anticipates the budding cherry tree blossoms.   Bridget and I have been logging longer runs on the weekends and it feels good to push a little further and pick up the pace.  We aren’t speed demons by any stretch of the imagine, but we are out pounding the pavement and learning more about yourselves and our friendship through the miles.

Next Tuesday marks the fifth anniversary of the passing of my good friend, Bruce Hogan.  Running brought Bruce and I together in MaCall, Idaho.  We spent the fall gardening and picking apples together.  In the winter, I made him oatmeal and warmed milk for his breakfast while learning about his rich life and the painful truths of death & cancer.  I’ve celebrated his life in the mountains of Tibet and on a beach in Vietnam.  I’m already looking forward to running with Jenna through the streets of DC to honor his memory and celebrate friendship.

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Up for the Challenge

Written by: Amy
27 Jan 2011
family, Yoga

Amy’s runs: Saturday, 5m run with Michael around the Mall and Georgetown; Sunday, 4.25m tried to meet Jenna; Monday, 3.5m treadmill run; Tuesday, non-travel related (intentional) rest; Wednesday, 90 minute hot yoga with Bridget and Molly (and others at Bikram Yoga Dupont)

The last few days have been a challenge.  Motivating myself to run (even with the encouragement of others) has been hard.  Engaging in a new professional community has been mentally tough.  I often found myself thinking, “This is hard, but I have to do it anyway.”  And, it’s only Wednesday.

On my Saturday run with Michael, I mostly whined about being on a run (sorry, Michael).  I was looking forward to connecting with Jenna on Sunday.  Unfortunately, our wires got crossed and we missed each other.  After waiting 10 minutes, I trudged on.  Later, I learned we were waiting about 2 blocks from each other.  Who knew meeting at the “Woodley Park Metro” wasn’t specific enough?

I was happy I’d logged a few miles over the weekend and thankful that I’d been able to run with Michael.  However, I felt nervous and anxious about the conference, and that seemed to overshadow everything.

The conference set up was like the many I’ve attended – except I didn’t know a single solitary sole.  As others hugged, laughed and asked about the kids, I listened, smiled and forced myself to introduce myself to those around me.  It was a humbling experience to be unknown.  As the days of the conference went on, I met more people, found things in common, shared meals, engaged in conversations and made connections.  It was challenging, but I did it.  I did it alone, but not without thinking about 2 people quite a bit during the conference: Karen Daniel and my dad.

I received a small grant 8 years ago, and Karen was in charge of the grant program.  Karen and her colleagues visited my project site, and she made sure I was introduced to her organization‘s CEO and the funder.  Over the years, she has met with me and we’ve developed a friendly relationship.  The volunteerism world is small – as are all industries – and Karen and I often attended the same events.  Karen would always go out of her way to introduce me to her colleagues.  She helped pave the way for me to become a known member in the service community.

This week, as an unknown member of the agricultural community, I did what I know how to do best.  I asked questions.  During the Educational Committee meeting, I spoke up, asked a few questions and shared my ideas.  This caught the attention of Ron, who approached me after the meeting and said, “You can’t expect to say something intelligent and not get noticed at these things.”  He badgered me to join the committee.  I explained I didn’t know anything, and he assured me that he didn’t when he started either, but that’s where everyone starts.  By the end of the conference, I talked to the committee chair and volunteered to be on the committee.  Turns out the committee chair has done work with friends of mine from Boise, Idaho.  Small world connection.

Ron talked to me about learning from people and situations around you, and he introduced me to his colleagues, wife, daughter and the executive director of the lead organization.  He welcomed me, which gave me confidence and helped me feel like I belonged.

Ron, even though I’ve known him for only a few days, and Karen, along with a few others like Maggie Balistreri-Clarke and Steve Loflin, will always have a special place in my heart.  I realized this week that the person who has constantly challenged, encouraged, provided me with the space to grow, I hardly ever recognize.  My dad.  He’s a private man who rarely says anything about himself.  He listens, tells a great story and makes an Old Fashioned that made my Grandpa Johnny proud.  He lived the life of a loner for years and years building the company and product recognition of Dual Chambered Cow Waterbeds.  He was mocked and so was the product he invested everything in.  I finally felt first-hand a fraction of what he went through during those early years. He has tirelessly worked to establish credibility, relationships and recognition. If I felt stressed on Sunday, just 3 short days later, I feel humbled that he would allow me the space to grow and challenge myself at helping him build the company and brand further.  I am up for the challenge.

Thanks, Dad.
Love, Amy

p.s. Mom is pretty great, too.
p.p.s. Katie – we are lucky girls.
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