Amy’s Runs: Monday, 3m treadmill run; Tuesday, 3m run with Bridget; Wednesday, 2m pool run; Thursday, 3m treadmill run; Friday, rest; Saturday, 5.5m run with Bridget; Sunday, 11m run with Bridget and Colleen; Monday, rest; Tuesday, Remembering Bruce, 4.5m run with Jenna
I knew Bruce less than 6 months. I met him August 23, 2005. He died February 22, 2006. I’ve never done the math on that before. The friendship and trust we develop in such a sort time seems surreal to me now. I don’t know his favorite color (might have been blue) or movie (we only watched 1 together, “Patch Adams”). I don’t even know what type of music he liked. We gardened, cooked, did yard work, organized his closets, drank PBR and picked apples. But, I was there for him as he died.
His family asked me to speak at his funeral, and this is what I said:
About once or twice a week after we met, we worked in his yard moving dirt and sand from one pile to another, positioning and repositioning blueberry bushes never to find the perfect spot. Bruce liked things done his way and I became very good at following directions.
Sometimes I tried to anticipate what he’d need – sometimes I was right and sometimes I’m sure he wished I hadn’t tried to “help” at all. Nevertheless he’d smile, give a “Yahoo!” to recognize my effort, and tell me how to do it right. I’d reciprocate the smile and comply with the new direction.
As Bruce became less able to do the little things around the house, so many chipped in to do whatever was needed. It was much easier for me to see what needed to be done around the house than it was for me to know what to do with this garden nutrient and that pile of compost. Doing the dishes comes naturally, using a Roto-tiller doesn’t.
It was an honor to spend as much time as I did with Bruce. Often I remember thinking that I didn’t belong, because I had just met Bruce & who was I anyway? Your warm smiles and hearty welcomes & Bruce’s delicate hugs reassured me every time that I had a place not only in Bruce’s home, but also in his heart.
Running brought Bruce and I together more than 5 years ago, and running is still introducing me to great people wherever I go. I was able to share this run (and a cold PRB at Solly’s) with a new friend, Jenna. You never know what 6 months will do to develop a friendship, and you never know the impact you truly have on someone’s life.
Bruce, I still smile thinking about those blueberry bushes and about climbing in an apple tree to get just one more bushel. The blueberry bushes were never planted and we threw away the rotten apples after you died. You invited me to be a part of the last part of your life & your death, but I will always wonder about the jet-setting, bike-riding, suit-wearing, trail-climbing, beer-guzzling Bruce I didn’t get a chance to meet.
Jenna, Thanks for running with me & asking about Bruce. It was nice to talk about him, but focus on our shared interests and insights on life to develop our friendship. It’s what Bruce would have wanted.
